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Thursday, May 10, 2018

No Contact: How to Beat the Narcissist by HG Tudor

Publisher: Insight Books
Publish Date: 7/18/2016
Page Count: 156
Price: $11
Amazon Book
I wanted to learn more about No Contact, so I picked up a copy of this book after seeing the 4 and 1/2 stars it received on Amazon.  Once I got the book, it was kind of hard to read with the tiny font size (maybe 10 where normal books are around 12).  There are some formatting issues, page long paragraphs and lots of graphical errors.  I'm also going to take a guess that the author is from outside the USA because of some of the word choices.  But once you get past these issues, the book had some usefully information but not worth the $11 price tag.

The author claims to be a narcissist, so you first have to stop the urge to toss the book in the trash and cuss him out every other page.  Once you get past that, you get to learn about what really goes through the mind of someone that emotional abuses another.  He also helps us learn WHY someone abuses another, the correct way to deal with someone who is abusing you and the steps he used in order to continue the abuse so that you may avoid it in the future.

There were times, while reading what he did to his girlfriends, that really made me mad.  I almost wondered if the author was getting joy out of writing how much he hurts his girlfriends. Then I had to remind myself that he DOES know and DOESN'T care! 
 
"You will keep tying yourself in knots, exhausting yourself and becoming ground down as you try and work out why we do as we do.  You make the same mistake every time.  You try and analyze our behavior through your viewpoint.  This will not work.  Once you learn to look at why we say what we say and do what we do, through our viewpoint all becomes clear."

I also liked the way he explained why narcissists do what they do.  He used fuel as a way to explain the steps.  At first, we are prime fuel but that somewhere along the line we become normal fuel and he starts looking for that prime fuel again, all the while keeping the normal fuel hanging on until it is all used up. 

He goes into details about what can happen after No Contact is put into play and the tricks that will be used in order to squeeze back in.  I was kind of sick to my stomach when I realized how many times I fell for these same "Power Plays".  

I would recommend this book ONLY if you wanted to learn more about emotional abuse from the narcissists side of things.  It is a pretty short read with only 156 pages and most of that is repeated over and over just in a different way.  However, I would suggest buying the kindle version over the paperback so that you can change the font size for better reading and it's cheaper.    


Other Books On the Subject:
POWER: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse: A Collection of Essays on Malignant Narcissism and Recovery from Emotional Abuse by Shahida Arabi


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